Since the last blog quite a lot has happened. It was my birthday. I proved to be the shining light during my debut out pitch for the youth team. I went for a character building test of patience to Maderia. I've played for the first team and on Friday going to Littlehampton in the FA Cup.
First off all for my birthday I didn't want much. All I wanted is a phone that works in my house which is on contract so I can actually call people and text people. Also being 16 is very odd. I can safely say that it has grown. My first 5 mins of being 16 were going so well until my ipod broke and is now broken. Now im 16 I can do many more things. I played the lottery thanks to Sam and got two numbers :D.
Anyway the 100th blog is dedicated to: The world record dedication holder Chris Rousell. Flask loving Leanne Sands. Emily 'Mountain' Raynes. Scott Crowley's knee. Hickseys Knee. To Amy's hair. To Pete 'messiah' Knight. To Uncle Jurgen.
Anyway its now August which is the 2nd worst month behind February. I still have no job and no money. Also I am beginning to worry about my exam results. I would rather live in blissful ignorance than find out I got Ds.
Anyway my 'holiday'. Not much to write. Went around seeing all different aunties and uncles. Drunk lots of coffee. Ate lots of meat. Spent all my money. On the last day I met Alex on the beach and spent the day there. Best day of the 'holiday' by a long way.
I got home at around 4.30 and was out the door again at 4.45 to play for the youth team only for it to be called off. Its safe to say I was a little cross.
Our 5 a side season came to an end and we finished second. We got a big trophy for our troubles too. That trophy meant a lot. After all the Auzzuri runner up trophy has pride of place on my shelve.
The song that puts you in the happiest mood :D TUUUUNNNNEEEE!
22/07/2009
21/07/2009
Redknapp In Surprise £40m Move For Redknapp
Redknapp In Surprise £40m Move For Redknapp
Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp was at the centre of more questions about his transfer dealings this morning, when it emerged that his first high-profile capture of the summer would be Jamie Redknapp, his son, who is heading to White Hart Lane in a deal worth a reported £40 million. The transfer fee, one of the biggest in football history, has raised some eyebrows among commentators, not least because Redknapp does not currently play for any club, having retired in 2004-5 to concentrate on advertisements and laboured punditry. But Redknapp Sr. says there is 'nothing irregular' about the deal, mediated by agent Mark Redknapp, which will see the eight-figure sum paid directly by Spurs to Louise Nurding, Redknapp's wife. 'It was just convenient to do it that way,' said Redknapp, 'with us all having each other's numbers and that. Is this interview going to take long? I've got a couple of people to see down the Old Kent Road.'
When asked what he felt the retired Jamie could add to Spurs' midfield, Redknapp Sr. briefly looked even more tired than usual, his eyes disappearing altogether for more than ten seconds. 'He's just a tricky little player who can make things happen for you.' When it was put to him that Redknapp had not played at any level for three years, having been forced out of the game by a recurrence of some of the 3,405 injuries which plagued him throughout his career, the Spurs supremo fudged the question, muttering that Jamie had 'actually been playing for Wigan' since 2005: a claim which could not be countered as nobody could recall watching a Wigan game.
Jamie Redknapp was also evasive on the subject of the landmark transfer, saying: 'I'm not even joking, mate. You fuckers pay up the full amount by Monday or my old man's going to have one or two things to say, put it that way. What? Oh, sorry, I thought you was the boys from Nintendo.'
It's not the first time the man known to football fans simply as 'Harry', and to tax inspectors by a host of other names, has been subjected to scrutiny over his machinations in the transfer market. While at West Ham he attracted criticism for the mysterious signing of Marco Boogers, who made only two appearances for the Hammers, and in 2007-8 he was investigated by the FA after his wife Sandra joined Portsmouth as a right-winger on a £70,000-a-week contract.
20/07/2009
Knaphill Central 4-0 CCW
Second place on the cards for central.
Manager Sam Wells went for a stadium tour at Real Madrid and remarkably was signed on a 5 year deal so I stepped in to the managers job this week. Red faced Real president Florentino Perez issued a statement saying: 'He was milling aroud outside the ground so the we moved him inside to sign a contract,' 'Its a terrible misunderstanding but all new signings are good,' he added. "We thought he was a new signing because he was doing that thing with the scarf," spokesman Luis Villarejo explained.
With loan signing Shane Rideout joining the Knaphill crew to replace Sam an easy win was on the card and it started that way with a goal set up from the back. Whitby produced a delicate chip rolling back the years in the process to his outfielder days towards jon who in turn played the ball into rideout who lashed home. After Jacko amazingly missed from 2 yards with an open goal central fell apart. The gaffer decided to take off jack who's face was as red as his shirt after that howler ;). Bionic Legs geoff replaced him and performed well but couldnt stop endless pressure from CCW. Whitby made a good save from close range to prevent and equaliser and central got to the break 1-0 up.
Second half started similarly with Whitby making 2 or 3 vital saves until central ran riot. Bayliss ripped them apart with passing to rival Ian Selley, Chris Sharpling and many other greats. Central dominated and after the most spectacular own goal seen in 5 a side. I venomous drive into the top corner to make it 2-0. Jacko returned to the action and in the style of his idol Goma Lambu ran the other team ragged. CCW just couldn't keep the ball. After more great work from the man named after Woking Legend Shane Wye, Jon tapped in from close range before Rideout ran the pitch, rounded the keeper and scored. There was still time for Whitby to explore the CCW half with ball at my feet and Brad Bayliss to more than sting the fingertips of the CCW goalkeepr. Final score 4-0
Manager Sam Wells went for a stadium tour at Real Madrid and remarkably was signed on a 5 year deal so I stepped in to the managers job this week. Red faced Real president Florentino Perez issued a statement saying: 'He was milling aroud outside the ground so the we moved him inside to sign a contract,' 'Its a terrible misunderstanding but all new signings are good,' he added. "We thought he was a new signing because he was doing that thing with the scarf," spokesman Luis Villarejo explained.
With loan signing Shane Rideout joining the Knaphill crew to replace Sam an easy win was on the card and it started that way with a goal set up from the back. Whitby produced a delicate chip rolling back the years in the process to his outfielder days towards jon who in turn played the ball into rideout who lashed home. After Jacko amazingly missed from 2 yards with an open goal central fell apart. The gaffer decided to take off jack who's face was as red as his shirt after that howler ;). Bionic Legs geoff replaced him and performed well but couldnt stop endless pressure from CCW. Whitby made a good save from close range to prevent and equaliser and central got to the break 1-0 up.
Second half started similarly with Whitby making 2 or 3 vital saves until central ran riot. Bayliss ripped them apart with passing to rival Ian Selley, Chris Sharpling and many other greats. Central dominated and after the most spectacular own goal seen in 5 a side. I venomous drive into the top corner to make it 2-0. Jacko returned to the action and in the style of his idol Goma Lambu ran the other team ragged. CCW just couldn't keep the ball. After more great work from the man named after Woking Legend Shane Wye, Jon tapped in from close range before Rideout ran the pitch, rounded the keeper and scored. There was still time for Whitby to explore the CCW half with ball at my feet and Brad Bayliss to more than sting the fingertips of the CCW goalkeepr. Final score 4-0
Golf , World Exclusive Interview and painting
Today is dedicated to golf and Bradley
I hate golf. Not as badly as cricket but this week I found myself watching the open. I don't know why I watched. I just found it interesting that a 59 year old man could have a chance of winning. A 1000/1 outsider. This proves to me that it isn't a sport however like snooker I managed to lose myself watching the game. I even started to watch the build up and saw some past golf events and this Seve Ballesteros. The ultimate of human being. Anyway to my mind golf is the ultimate test of concentration and charecter with one bad shot resulting in heart break. The one thing that does slightly piss me off about golf is the people who watch it. They are the sort who go to watch Fulham. The sort who wear flat caps and chew on a stick of celery. The sort who work in an office drinking coffee until the weekend where they drive there Audi up to Scotland and watch the golf. They contribute to the game in no way at all.
Anyway onto me. I've been very good this week. To try and get money for some presents I have been doing house jobs and my latest one was painting and I'm a bit of a dab hand at painting if I don't say so myself. I was told to paint the shed and then started painting with the wrong paint. I stopped and started again and then to my horror my mum comes out screaming saying I've done a good job painting its just I've painted the whole of one side in think black oil. Eventually I got the right paint and set about painting the shed.
Once again this week I am Cappelo for the 5 a side team because Sam is away. I see myself more as a Harry Redknapp. Able to sign world beating players on a shoe string budget and this week. I have signed world player of the year. Valued by his club at around £75,000,000,000 however I have signed him for an undisclosed fee believed to be around £4.25 and a pack of wine gums. Rideout debuts for Knaphill Central at 6.30 today.
Knaphill Central Star, defensive rock Bradley Bayliss gave an interview for DanWhitbys Blog.
Whitby: 5 a side football is completely different to 11 a side. Did you find it hard to adapt at first?
Bradley: Yes it is tricky, but with the wise coaching from Daniel Whitby behind you, you soon get to grips with it.
Whitby: Last week you missed out due to work permit issues are you ready to seek retribution this week?
Bradley: Of course, I am raring to go. But a little glad I missed out on last weeks clash; didn't really fancy a knuckle sandwich for tea.
Whitby: With playing 5 a side comes HUGE media pressure what pre match routines do you have to cope?
Bradley: I start off the day with a nice relaxing 5 hours of call of duty, which gets me in the mood for battle and ready to face the challenge that awaits the team and I. After a Rivita mini for lunch, I sit down beside my bed and watch songs of praise to calm the nerves before getting the footy kit on and kissing the badge on my shirt. Then I choose socks with matching rings on them depending on what I'm wearing.
Whitby: Prediction for tonight?
Bradley: Hmmmm, 4-1 to us.
Also this week TOMMY HUTCH SIGNS! We really well piss the Blue Square South now. He loves us and we love him. Also we established Jake Ayres looks like Pie-face from Dennis the menace.
I hate golf. Not as badly as cricket but this week I found myself watching the open. I don't know why I watched. I just found it interesting that a 59 year old man could have a chance of winning. A 1000/1 outsider. This proves to me that it isn't a sport however like snooker I managed to lose myself watching the game. I even started to watch the build up and saw some past golf events and this Seve Ballesteros. The ultimate of human being. Anyway to my mind golf is the ultimate test of concentration and charecter with one bad shot resulting in heart break. The one thing that does slightly piss me off about golf is the people who watch it. They are the sort who go to watch Fulham. The sort who wear flat caps and chew on a stick of celery. The sort who work in an office drinking coffee until the weekend where they drive there Audi up to Scotland and watch the golf. They contribute to the game in no way at all.
Anyway onto me. I've been very good this week. To try and get money for some presents I have been doing house jobs and my latest one was painting and I'm a bit of a dab hand at painting if I don't say so myself. I was told to paint the shed and then started painting with the wrong paint. I stopped and started again and then to my horror my mum comes out screaming saying I've done a good job painting its just I've painted the whole of one side in think black oil. Eventually I got the right paint and set about painting the shed.
Once again this week I am Cappelo for the 5 a side team because Sam is away. I see myself more as a Harry Redknapp. Able to sign world beating players on a shoe string budget and this week. I have signed world player of the year. Valued by his club at around £75,000,000,000 however I have signed him for an undisclosed fee believed to be around £4.25 and a pack of wine gums. Rideout debuts for Knaphill Central at 6.30 today.
Knaphill Central Star, defensive rock Bradley Bayliss gave an interview for DanWhitbys Blog.
Whitby: 5 a side football is completely different to 11 a side. Did you find it hard to adapt at first?
Bradley: Yes it is tricky, but with the wise coaching from Daniel Whitby behind you, you soon get to grips with it.
Whitby: Last week you missed out due to work permit issues are you ready to seek retribution this week?
Bradley: Of course, I am raring to go. But a little glad I missed out on last weeks clash; didn't really fancy a knuckle sandwich for tea.
Whitby: With playing 5 a side comes HUGE media pressure what pre match routines do you have to cope?
Bradley: I start off the day with a nice relaxing 5 hours of call of duty, which gets me in the mood for battle and ready to face the challenge that awaits the team and I. After a Rivita mini for lunch, I sit down beside my bed and watch songs of praise to calm the nerves before getting the footy kit on and kissing the badge on my shirt. Then I choose socks with matching rings on them depending on what I'm wearing.
Whitby: Prediction for tonight?
Bradley: Hmmmm, 4-1 to us.
Also this week TOMMY HUTCH SIGNS! We really well piss the Blue Square South now. He loves us and we love him. Also we established Jake Ayres looks like Pie-face from Dennis the menace.
12/07/2009
My Top 7 songs. (At the moment)
My top 7 favorite songs at the moment. To be honest it could be in any order and thats why I did top 7 because I couldn't decide on a top 5. Anyway here it is.
Number 7:
Number 6:
Number 5:
Number 4:
Number 3:
Number 2: Just the happiest song in the world
Number 1: Man in the Mirror
Number 7:
Number 6:
Number 5:
Number 4:
Number 3:
Number 2: Just the happiest song in the world
Number 1: Man in the Mirror
Last 3 days and Parties :D
Today is dedicated to Sam Palmer who saved Saturday night and made it pretty spectacular. Uncle Jurgen AND ROBBIE WILSOOOON!!!
Thursday was the day that finally me and Jack got our epic tennis encounter underway. The first set was anything but tight with Jack racing into a 4-1 lead however I gritted my teeth and got it back to 5-5. I had now devised a great plan to beat him and it was to expose his height. This worked so well I went 6-5 up and was a game away from the first set. Unfortunately Jack held serve and forced a tie break. You could get the tension with a knife. The capacity crowd included a tramp asleep on the park bench and mothers pushing there children around couldn't bare to watch. It was probably more the mothers walking well away from us due to my loud cursing and the trap was asleep facing the other way. Buoyed by the crowd support, i fed off it and racing into a 5-2 lead in the tie break. 5-2 turned into 5-3 which turned into 5-4 and after and epic point 6-4. Two set points. From there it was all downhill as jack took the tie break 11-13 after 6 or 7 wind assisted shots. In the end Jack won 7-6, 6-4, 6-3 however for me it was like playing a 3 year old at football. I know I was far better than him and not wanting to make him upset I'm let him win. Simple.
Anyway 3 hrs of tennis left me pretty much broken for pre season training. That was hard.
Friday was a day which was full of Jack celebrating his fluke victory however it was Emma's surprise party to in the evening. Unfortunately due to a match the next day I was forced to being sober. Other than a cheeky shot each for me and Shane.
Onto Saturday's match and after one of the funniest dressing rooms ever we got out to warm up. I borrowed Jurgens gloves which were really good. I was quite pleased with myself. Despite the odd slip up as there generally is with me I played well and made some good saves. The match was all build up for Callum and Tash's engagement party though. I didn't bring any clothes so I went home with Sam and got changed and walked up to the Palmers. Emily then vandalised my facebook before we left to go. I got in the back seats and as I went to shut the boot I slipped and fell out the car. This sort of set the tone for the rest of the night. There were a couple of very notable incidents that included the stand and slippery surface however there is no need to get caught up on little details. It was a great night.
Thats pretty much that :D
JD X
End of post
Thursday was the day that finally me and Jack got our epic tennis encounter underway. The first set was anything but tight with Jack racing into a 4-1 lead however I gritted my teeth and got it back to 5-5. I had now devised a great plan to beat him and it was to expose his height. This worked so well I went 6-5 up and was a game away from the first set. Unfortunately Jack held serve and forced a tie break. You could get the tension with a knife. The capacity crowd included a tramp asleep on the park bench and mothers pushing there children around couldn't bare to watch. It was probably more the mothers walking well away from us due to my loud cursing and the trap was asleep facing the other way. Buoyed by the crowd support, i fed off it and racing into a 5-2 lead in the tie break. 5-2 turned into 5-3 which turned into 5-4 and after and epic point 6-4. Two set points. From there it was all downhill as jack took the tie break 11-13 after 6 or 7 wind assisted shots. In the end Jack won 7-6, 6-4, 6-3 however for me it was like playing a 3 year old at football. I know I was far better than him and not wanting to make him upset I'm let him win. Simple.
Anyway 3 hrs of tennis left me pretty much broken for pre season training. That was hard.
Friday was a day which was full of Jack celebrating his fluke victory however it was Emma's surprise party to in the evening. Unfortunately due to a match the next day I was forced to being sober. Other than a cheeky shot each for me and Shane.
Onto Saturday's match and after one of the funniest dressing rooms ever we got out to warm up. I borrowed Jurgens gloves which were really good. I was quite pleased with myself. Despite the odd slip up as there generally is with me I played well and made some good saves. The match was all build up for Callum and Tash's engagement party though. I didn't bring any clothes so I went home with Sam and got changed and walked up to the Palmers. Emily then vandalised my facebook before we left to go. I got in the back seats and as I went to shut the boot I slipped and fell out the car. This sort of set the tone for the rest of the night. There were a couple of very notable incidents that included the stand and slippery surface however there is no need to get caught up on little details. It was a great night.
Thats pretty much that :D
JD X
End of post
The last 3 days :D Parties :D
Today is dedicated to Sam Palmer who saved Saturday night and made it pretty spectacular. Uncle Jurgen AND ROBBIE WILSOOOON!!!
Thursday was the day that finally me and Jack got our epic tennis encounter underway. The first set was anything but tight with Jack racing into a 4-1 lead however I gritted my teeth and got it back to 5-5. I had now devised a great plan to beat him and it was to expose his height. This worked so well I went 6-5 up and was a game away from the first set. Unfortunately Jack held serve and forced a tie break. You could get the tension with a knife. The capacity crowd included a tramp asleep on the park bench and mothers pushing there children around couldn't bare to watch. It was probably more the mothers walking well away from us due to my loud cursing and the trap was asleep facing the other way. Buoyed by the crowd support, i fed off it and racing into a 5-2 lead in the tie break. 5-2 turned into 5-3 which turned into 5-4 and after and epic point 6-4. Two set points. From there it was all downhill as jack took the tie break 11-13 after 6 or 7 wind assisted shots. In the end Jack won 7-6, 6-4, 6-3 however for me it was like playing a 3 year old at football. I know I was far better than him and not wanting to make him upset I'm let him win. Simple.
Anyway 3 hrs of tennis left me pretty much broken for pre season training. That was hard.
Friday was a day which was full of Jack celebrating his fluke victory however it was Emma's surprise party to in the evening. Unfortunately due to a match the next day I was forced to being sober. Other than a cheeky shot each for me and Shane.
Onto Saturday's match and after one of the funniest dressing rooms ever we got out to warm up. I borrowed Jurgens gloves which were really good. I was quite pleased with myself. Despite the odd slip up as there generally is with me I played well and made some good saves. The match was all build up for Callum and Tash's engagement party though. I didn't bring any clothes so I went home with Sam and got changed and walked up to the Palmers. Emily then vandalised my facebook before we left to go. I got in the back seats and as I went to shut the boot I slipped and fell out the car. This sort of set the tone for the rest of the night. There were a couple of very notable incidents that included the stand and slippery surface however there is no need to get caught up on little details. It was a great night.
Thats pretty much that :D
JD X
End of post
Thursday was the day that finally me and Jack got our epic tennis encounter underway. The first set was anything but tight with Jack racing into a 4-1 lead however I gritted my teeth and got it back to 5-5. I had now devised a great plan to beat him and it was to expose his height. This worked so well I went 6-5 up and was a game away from the first set. Unfortunately Jack held serve and forced a tie break. You could get the tension with a knife. The capacity crowd included a tramp asleep on the park bench and mothers pushing there children around couldn't bare to watch. It was probably more the mothers walking well away from us due to my loud cursing and the trap was asleep facing the other way. Buoyed by the crowd support, i fed off it and racing into a 5-2 lead in the tie break. 5-2 turned into 5-3 which turned into 5-4 and after and epic point 6-4. Two set points. From there it was all downhill as jack took the tie break 11-13 after 6 or 7 wind assisted shots. In the end Jack won 7-6, 6-4, 6-3 however for me it was like playing a 3 year old at football. I know I was far better than him and not wanting to make him upset I'm let him win. Simple.
Anyway 3 hrs of tennis left me pretty much broken for pre season training. That was hard.
Friday was a day which was full of Jack celebrating his fluke victory however it was Emma's surprise party to in the evening. Unfortunately due to a match the next day I was forced to being sober. Other than a cheeky shot each for me and Shane.
Onto Saturday's match and after one of the funniest dressing rooms ever we got out to warm up. I borrowed Jurgens gloves which were really good. I was quite pleased with myself. Despite the odd slip up as there generally is with me I played well and made some good saves. The match was all build up for Callum and Tash's engagement party though. I didn't bring any clothes so I went home with Sam and got changed and walked up to the Palmers. Emily then vandalised my facebook before we left to go. I got in the back seats and as I went to shut the boot I slipped and fell out the car. This sort of set the tone for the rest of the night. There were a couple of very notable incidents that included the stand and slippery surface however there is no need to get caught up on little details. It was a great night.
Thats pretty much that :D
JD X
End of post
09/07/2009
Top 5 best saves of all time
Barthez vs. Liverpool
Peter Schmeichel for Man City Vs. Liverpool
David Seaman claws the ball out
Kuszczak unbelievable save
Bogdan Lombont. The greatest save.
Peter Schmeichel for Man City Vs. Liverpool
David Seaman claws the ball out
Kuszczak unbelievable save
Bogdan Lombont. The greatest save.
08/07/2009
08/07/09 I hate cricket
Today I was meant to be writing about my crushing defeat of Jacko in tennis however the start of the worst and most boring 'sporting' series in the world meant he had to stay in and watch that. I mean does anyone watch cricket outside of Surrey? Maybe one or two people but by law they must have a comb over. How can people watch it? The same thing happens over and over again. What possessed someone to invent a sport where you stand in front of 3 sticks with a plank of wood in hand? Then you get all these tribal dances when someone appeals for LBW. I can just about understand what is good about 20/20 cricket because its over quickly and the players actually whack the ball but test cricket is unbearable. Could someone please tell me how it is interesting about it. It ruins my sky sports news in the morning which is full of the ashes score and what channel its on. 'Sky sports 1 and HD one', 'Watch the cricket in glorious High Definition' is all I hear. NO! I would rather watch Songs of Praise or Prime Ministers questions in HD. I nearly said Countryfile but that's going to far. I've been to a cricket club and whilst attempting to have a go at the game is far better than watching it, that is only because all the people with comb overs and stumps so far up there arse they walk like ducks got cross with me cause I was noisy, crap and pretty much every sentence ended with: What am I doing here?
Well anyway onto today and I made my first smoothie as recommended my Jurgen. After I successfully cooked last week I was feeling buoyant at the prospect of making a smoothie. I mean how hard could it be? With advice from Jurgen I did banana and I got out my blender, cut 3 bananas into small chunks and then stuck them in. To put it bluntly I made a huge mess and all bits of smoothie came out the little hole in the blender. It was to bannanary. So I put lots of sugar and maple syrup in. Then it tasted of banana horribleness. That wasn't even the worst of it. The shire sight of it made me ill. I can only describe it as erupting, bubbling cement. It was all grey and horrible. To be fair to it when I got used to the taste it wasn't to bad so alls well that ends well.
Spot the difference
That's pretty much that
JD X
End of post
More Pre - Season and Cricket
Today is dedicated to JURGEN!
I will start with some terrible news. Pete's van is sick. :(
Today was meant to be the day that I destroyed Jacko at tennis however the monsoon rain postponed it. My prediction is 6-0 6-0 6-1. Purely 6-1 cause I would give him a game at the end.
Pre season training is now in full swing. Pete has retired from fitness duties and handed it to Callum. Last week was painful but this week... Well. Anyway before all that was making saves. In the first couple of sessions I can safely say I was cooking on calor gas. Whitby was flying left and right as if he was drinking red bull. Then it was off to callum and after last week I was genuinely scared of doing the fitness and after watching everyone else it didn't really help my fears. It was a mix of shuttle sprints, squat thrusts, knees to chest and punishments. The last placed team had to do punishments and I always seemed to do the punishments except the one that we had to do 15 marine press ups. When I got home I tried one and immediately regretted saying I would do 50 marine press ups if I'm not on top form on Thursday. It was murder. I could barely stand up. Then I went over for more goalkeeping and I couldn't see. I had black spots and fuzzyness. I got in the clubhouse for a well earned toastie and made our way home. Mark Mcendrick ran out of petrol outside a petrol station that was shut which is pretty bitter so Pete went to pick him up and get him some petrol from somewhere else. Then I went home.
The ashes started today. I hope the is rain for every single day it is on. So then the ashes doesn't happen. It ruins everything. Sky Sports News is now vandalized with ashes updates and all kinds of useless ashes facts. I don't care who wins. Its not even a sport. It is a game for the upper classes. Like hunting. I hate it hate it hate it.
I will start with some terrible news. Pete's van is sick. :(
Today was meant to be the day that I destroyed Jacko at tennis however the monsoon rain postponed it. My prediction is 6-0 6-0 6-1. Purely 6-1 cause I would give him a game at the end.
Pre season training is now in full swing. Pete has retired from fitness duties and handed it to Callum. Last week was painful but this week... Well. Anyway before all that was making saves. In the first couple of sessions I can safely say I was cooking on calor gas. Whitby was flying left and right as if he was drinking red bull. Then it was off to callum and after last week I was genuinely scared of doing the fitness and after watching everyone else it didn't really help my fears. It was a mix of shuttle sprints, squat thrusts, knees to chest and punishments. The last placed team had to do punishments and I always seemed to do the punishments except the one that we had to do 15 marine press ups. When I got home I tried one and immediately regretted saying I would do 50 marine press ups if I'm not on top form on Thursday. It was murder. I could barely stand up. Then I went over for more goalkeeping and I couldn't see. I had black spots and fuzzyness. I got in the clubhouse for a well earned toastie and made our way home. Mark Mcendrick ran out of petrol outside a petrol station that was shut which is pretty bitter so Pete went to pick him up and get him some petrol from somewhere else. Then I went home.
The ashes started today. I hope the is rain for every single day it is on. So then the ashes doesn't happen. It ruins everything. Sky Sports News is now vandalized with ashes updates and all kinds of useless ashes facts. I don't care who wins. Its not even a sport. It is a game for the upper classes. Like hunting. I hate it hate it hate it.
06/07/2009
Made me laugh
While looking for a job I came across this. Made my laugh.
This is an actual job application from a 17 year old boy to McDonalds, and he got the job for being so honest and funny.
Name: *******
Sex: Not yet I'm saving myself for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President/Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock option and should it not work out - a Michael Ovitz style severance package. Seriously, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I am worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it pads.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1.30 - 3.30pm (with 1/2 hour lunch break). Monday ,
Tuesday & Thursday only.
Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer - If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs? Of what?
Do you have a car - I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstake.
Do you smoke? On the job - no, during breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years? - Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy sexy super model blonde, who thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. - There again I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? - Yes, Absolutely.
Sign Here: Aries.
This is an actual job application from a 17 year old boy to McDonalds, and he got the job for being so honest and funny.
Name: *******
Sex: Not yet I'm saving myself for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President/Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock option and should it not work out - a Michael Ovitz style severance package. Seriously, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I am worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it pads.
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1.30 - 3.30pm (with 1/2 hour lunch break). Monday ,
Tuesday & Thursday only.
Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.
May we contact your current employer - If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs? Of what?
Do you have a car - I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstake.
Do you smoke? On the job - no, during breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years? - Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy sexy super model blonde, who thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. - There again I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? - Yes, Absolutely.
Sign Here: Aries.
The house is still standing!
Saturday was epic. It was the day I was going to cook. When I told my mum the first thing she said was don't burn the house down.
Anyway first things first. The epic tennis match. The battle of the blogs. The clash of the titans. Rooster Vs. Whitby. We arrived at Winston at 12 however due to the capacity crowd unable to fit in (and the courts being full)we went to the leisure centre for the start of the match. Unfortunately my confidence was slightly misplaced as Chris won the first set 6-1. I wasn't having this so I uped my game a as soon as the forehand began to click Chris was a broken man and I took the second set 6-3. I was really storming and then powered to a 6-2 win in the third set. I became over confident again and it was 3-2 to Chris when the capacity crowd could no longer fit in the leisure centre (we were chucked out) and we went back to Winston. The mecca of tennis with all its history. The atmosphere was electric and Chris raced into a 5-2 lead on the new surface. I was let down by the fact that I don't have whats known as 'soft hands'. I was down but by no means out and I started to get going again and I forced I tie break. The tie break turned into a slog from the back of the court with Chris burnt to a crisp and me shattered and broken. Finally with one last forehand it was all over and I had taken victory. 1-6, 6-3, 6-2, 7-6.
The times described my performance on the front page as a 'tour de force' and 'awe inspiring' The daily mail reported 'He is a true hero. I triumph over adversity' and my favorite from the new of the world 'Dan's destiny train steamrolls rousell who is powerless to resist as he is left battered and bruised in a cloud of ash'
Moving on it was time to cook. Chris, Jacko, Kelly and Emily were due at 5.30 for some Michelin star food. It was all going very well. The chicken was in the oven and my cheesecake was made. Unfortunately the pasta took longer than we thought and everyone was waiting for a bit until we ate. To summarise it was shockingly good. Nothing burned. There was no fire. There was a mess but no stains. Amazing.
Anyway first things first. The epic tennis match. The battle of the blogs. The clash of the titans. Rooster Vs. Whitby. We arrived at Winston at 12 however due to the capacity crowd unable to fit in (and the courts being full)we went to the leisure centre for the start of the match. Unfortunately my confidence was slightly misplaced as Chris won the first set 6-1. I wasn't having this so I uped my game a as soon as the forehand began to click Chris was a broken man and I took the second set 6-3. I was really storming and then powered to a 6-2 win in the third set. I became over confident again and it was 3-2 to Chris when the capacity crowd could no longer fit in the leisure centre (we were chucked out) and we went back to Winston. The mecca of tennis with all its history. The atmosphere was electric and Chris raced into a 5-2 lead on the new surface. I was let down by the fact that I don't have whats known as 'soft hands'. I was down but by no means out and I started to get going again and I forced I tie break. The tie break turned into a slog from the back of the court with Chris burnt to a crisp and me shattered and broken. Finally with one last forehand it was all over and I had taken victory. 1-6, 6-3, 6-2, 7-6.
The times described my performance on the front page as a 'tour de force' and 'awe inspiring' The daily mail reported 'He is a true hero. I triumph over adversity' and my favorite from the new of the world 'Dan's destiny train steamrolls rousell who is powerless to resist as he is left battered and bruised in a cloud of ash'
Moving on it was time to cook. Chris, Jacko, Kelly and Emily were due at 5.30 for some Michelin star food. It was all going very well. The chicken was in the oven and my cheesecake was made. Unfortunately the pasta took longer than we thought and everyone was waiting for a bit until we ate. To summarise it was shockingly good. Nothing burned. There was no fire. There was a mess but no stains. Amazing.
03/07/2009
July!
July. By far the best month of the year. The month of my Birthday. Now I am going to be 16 so everyone knows what they can give me. The month of June has been a fairly big one. Finished Exams, Had the prom and after prom, got a job, lost a job, signed out of school and most importantly dossed.
Anyway sorry again for long delay between blogs. From now there will be know more delays. Today is dedicated to the teachers who have taught me at Winston.
Well on Monday the 5 a side team produced a sintillating victory to dispose of O'Wala team. That was after I cycled straight from Pirbright to GWP to get there on time. Tuesday was a phenomenal day and I got new clothes. I was very pleased with myself. Apart from the jeans that I acctually choose everything else was good. Then we got the bus to the Lye and went there.
Thursday involved a spectacular trip to the lido where time stood still as alex ware flew belly first into the pool. The whole pool watched as everyone followed in his footsteps. I got the bus to the station and the train to guildford. I hate public transport and buses in particular. Are all bus drivers tossers? I mean on my way to the station I'm trying to prove that i'm 15. I AM 15! So he gives me an adult ticket. This happened last week to so this time I stood my ground and thought this bus isn't going unless I get my child ticket. So he said he can refuse me entry to the bus if I don't get in. I hate buses. I hate bus drivers. Normally I don't mind trains but yesterday. Well. I was at guildford and it wouldn't go. So it was delayed for ages and ages while they got a new train. Then me and Sam got in the train and listen to my ipod and phone respectivly. Well because we were in the quiet zone we could listen to it. Luckily Woking was the first station so I got up and in the process of that bashed my head on a shelve. The whole carrige held in there laugh as much as the could until one man burst out laughing. Red faced I walked out and went home. Then it was off to Cobham. Thankfully the messiah Pete Knight waited for me and we went to Cobham. When I was told Pete wasn't doing the running this week I thought it would be good news. Good news until I found out Callum was doing it instead. After training many words come to mine. Knackered isn't really strong enough. Mega tired doesn't do it justice. Only one word can discribe how I was feeling and it began with F and ended with ED with part of duck inbetween.
On Saturday all eyes will be on the tennis. The pinicle of any tennis season. A sporting phenomem. The hottest ticket in town. Thousand will flock to watch. The Daily Mail describe it as: 'the match of the century'. The day I come out of retirement and play Chris Rousell. Dubbed by the News of the World as: 'Ground Breaking, Innovative and spectacular.' you can guarentee blood, sweat and tears. From Chris. In a Thirty Nine page preview pull out in the Daily Star the match up was described as 'The Clash of The Titans.' 'A battle of the blogs.'
JD X
End of post
Anyway sorry again for long delay between blogs. From now there will be know more delays. Today is dedicated to the teachers who have taught me at Winston.
Well on Monday the 5 a side team produced a sintillating victory to dispose of O'Wala team. That was after I cycled straight from Pirbright to GWP to get there on time. Tuesday was a phenomenal day and I got new clothes. I was very pleased with myself. Apart from the jeans that I acctually choose everything else was good. Then we got the bus to the Lye and went there.
Thursday involved a spectacular trip to the lido where time stood still as alex ware flew belly first into the pool. The whole pool watched as everyone followed in his footsteps. I got the bus to the station and the train to guildford. I hate public transport and buses in particular. Are all bus drivers tossers? I mean on my way to the station I'm trying to prove that i'm 15. I AM 15! So he gives me an adult ticket. This happened last week to so this time I stood my ground and thought this bus isn't going unless I get my child ticket. So he said he can refuse me entry to the bus if I don't get in. I hate buses. I hate bus drivers. Normally I don't mind trains but yesterday. Well. I was at guildford and it wouldn't go. So it was delayed for ages and ages while they got a new train. Then me and Sam got in the train and listen to my ipod and phone respectivly. Well because we were in the quiet zone we could listen to it. Luckily Woking was the first station so I got up and in the process of that bashed my head on a shelve. The whole carrige held in there laugh as much as the could until one man burst out laughing. Red faced I walked out and went home. Then it was off to Cobham. Thankfully the messiah Pete Knight waited for me and we went to Cobham. When I was told Pete wasn't doing the running this week I thought it would be good news. Good news until I found out Callum was doing it instead. After training many words come to mine. Knackered isn't really strong enough. Mega tired doesn't do it justice. Only one word can discribe how I was feeling and it began with F and ended with ED with part of duck inbetween.
On Saturday all eyes will be on the tennis. The pinicle of any tennis season. A sporting phenomem. The hottest ticket in town. Thousand will flock to watch. The Daily Mail describe it as: 'the match of the century'. The day I come out of retirement and play Chris Rousell. Dubbed by the News of the World as: 'Ground Breaking, Innovative and spectacular.' you can guarentee blood, sweat and tears. From Chris. In a Thirty Nine page preview pull out in the Daily Star the match up was described as 'The Clash of The Titans.' 'A battle of the blogs.'
JD X
End of post
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